I know it’s Sunday.

Are you sitting comfortably with food and something to drink? Its going to be a long one. Because never has there been a tale of such woe, than that of me and my dog. o.

PSA: Ditch the soft drink and get the scotch. No seriously. Get. The. Scotch.

Today started well enough with our regular morning walk and exercise around Yoshida. I was pleasantly surprised yet pleased with Sasuke. I try not to have any expectations on our walks just take them one at a time: poop and pee, exercise or enrichment or all three together.

We settled into our routine when its my day off, cleaning, studying, general quiet time and some play time together. Early evening we met up with a friend of mine for a picnic by the river and we walked to Shijo. All fine so far.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa… cue extinction disaster movie.

We walked our usual route back from Kawaramachi up to Sanjo and it was there the worst heart stopping moment happened. Duh. duh. duuuuuuuuuuuuh. He slipped his harness and ran off. He ran off down the river bank into the reed bed and attacked/played with an otter who in turn decided to take his displeasure out on me and the little f****r bit me. Sasuke, henceforth known as ‘the little s**t’, ran off into the Kamogawa. Nothing worked. He would not return.

He. would. not. return. So I went in. Into the Kamogawa in front of everybody who was sitting on the embankment having a quiet evening to now be entertained by a foreigner who cannot recall her Japanese dog. Actually. The recall works fine, Sasuke, the little s**t, just ignored me and swam in circles in the middle of the river having the time of his life, then decided to go to the other side of the river! run, jump and bounce around to then swim back. All the while I am just under waist deep in the river trying to grab him.

I miss.

He swims right past. (Little s**t.)

Back to the embankment with the (rightly so) psychotic otter (little f****r) which is where I finally manage in a sheer feat of, I don’t know – anger, frustration, embarrassment, spurt of energy, to catch him by his collar and the scruff of his neck. Sasuke that is. No way am I going head to head with a psychotic otter. I know my limits. And I chose belligerent dog.

I manage to get Sasuke’s harness back on him to utter silence and disdainful judgement from the crowd above. Well – who the eff cares. I got my dog, I’m soaked through to the skin, have an hours walk back home squelching all the way and have been shamed and traumatized by a deranged and psychotic otter. Judgement be damned.

So I leash him up and we start the long embarrassing squelching walk of shame back home. To his credit Sasuke had the time of his life. To mine. Well. I haven’t drunk this full bottle of whiskey yet, so, you know. Bonus.

The reason why I share this story is because a)this is now my life. and b)stuff like this is going to happen and can happen at any point as a dog owner. Ignore the people who are clearly judging – judge them back for not helping!! Your dog isn’t going to listen to you 100% of the time 24/7, 365 days a year-get over it. Take it as a learning experience, don’t encourage that behaviour but don’t berate your dog. Try to see the funny side and don’t dwell on it – trust me – your dog isn’t! And above all else. Keep that bottle of scotch or whiskey close by when you get home!