I hear that….. a lot!

And you know what? I wish I didn’t. I mean – I know my dog is cute and adorkable and all the wonderful things you are thinking of: funny, smart, energetic, playful. I also know that going for walks outside, especially during the day, for him are particularly stressful and scary.

I’ve touched on this briefly in other posts however now things are boring again (oh thank heavens, my bank balance, my liver and all deities, our life is now boring!!) it’s time to address this issue head on.

First. Just because you say my dog is cute does not give you, the scary unknown person, the right to try and cop a feel of my dog. And yes, that is what it is — copping a feel. Do not expect us to stop, we will pass go and quite frankly ignore you if you are that type of person and who gets pissy that we don’t accept your ‘awww kawaaaaaii’. Suck it up. You are terrible with dogs and clearly not an owner/custodian of an animal.

Second, if you are, quite frankly, stupid enough to try to cop a feel, after you have been told not to touch my dog, or you move towards him after he has backed away and again I have said no… and he bites you, snaps at you or agresses at you in anyway shape or form, please know that as you have been warned I will laugh at you. Like full on sadistic belly laugh. It’s not our fault you are stupid. Why should Sas be punished? He warned you, as did I – heck I even doggy translated for you.

Not all dogs enjoy walks outside and it is always best to talk to the owner/custodian of the dog first. I mean come on, ask permission and don’t be an ass if I say no, its really not personal and Im trying to keep my dog safe.. oh and you. But mostly my dog. I don’t know you, said random person, enough to be careful of your safety. My dog comes first.

If Sas is being just that – Sassy – and open then I may allow you to wave at him or get down to his level and wave. However the best thing you could do is ignore him and let him come to you, if he choses! If he does not, tough luck.

Now, as always, there are exceptions. One which I shall regale here. There once was a man from …..[?] who knows..somewhere in Japan, who used to go jogging along the same walk way Sas and I did along the river bank and each day he would wave at Sas, smile at me as he jogged on by. Never stopped just carried on.

Then one day, of course this happened to me – remember the otter people??!- as I was picking up Sas’s poop, he stopped. Now this did startle Sas a little. BUT!! and this is huge… the guy got down to Sas’s level and held out his hand. Sas went up to him and smelled him!! The poop was in my hand, in the bag not – you know….aaaanyway, and I was staring at this interaction. It was amazing. Sas isn’t scared of people, it’s just the vast majority of people who try to interact with him are complete asshats. And this guy was not! After he greeted Sas, he stared and smiled at me (looking like a moron with poop in my hand), he carried on jogging.

And this, people, is how you interact with dogs! Not a kawaii left this guys mouth just appreciation for how lovely Sas is. BOOM! Nailed it!

This doesn’t just apply to Japanese people, although it does come from them a lot, but foreigners too. Best thing you can do is smile as you …walk on by! (Yes totally channeling Dionne Warwick – just not as melancholy).